Top Ten Xmas Horrors

10: Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

9: Christmas Evil (1980)

 

8: Santa's Slay (2005)

7: Elves (1989)

6: Tales From the Crypt: And All Through the House (1972)

5: Jack Frost (1997)

4: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

3: Gremlins (1984)

2: Black Christmas (1974)

1: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

How many have yous seen? What's your favourite Xmas horror?

Movie B Bad #4: Santa's Slay (2005)

Santa's Slay is a 2005 Christmas Horror-comedy. Directed by David Steiman and starring former WCW/WWE world champion Bill Goldberg (Universal Soldier: The Return, The longest Yard), Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin (The Hills Have Eyes, Lost). The film was also produced by Brett Ratner (Rush Hour series)

Santa's Slay takes place during Christmas in Hell township when a particularly violent incarnation of jolly St Nick (Goldberg) rocks up on his jacked up reindeer to go on a killing spree. When local teenagers Nicolas (Smith) and Mary (De Ravin) decide to investigate the murderous happenings it is revealed, by Nicolas' grandpa, that Santa is actually the antichrist and Christmas day used to be a day of killing until Santa lost a bet on a game of curling. Ever since then Christmas day has been a day of peace and joy...until now! The has expired and it's up to the bright eyed teenagers, and crackpot Grandpa, to stop the evil Santa and save Christmas.

The main thrust of the humour in Santa's Slay is that it's a Jewish man killing Jewish people in increasingly Jewish ways all through the guise of Christmas....do you see what they did there? In all seriousness it's great fun to see a dehli owner impaled with a Menorah whilst a bagel curtain sways in the background and it isn't really something that's been done in horror-comedy before. For what it's worth Bill Goldberg does a great job as the grunting psychotic Santa whilst throwing in a few Bond-esque wisecracks to boot and it is an interesting idea to draw on the Germanic folklore roots of Santa Claus.

It must be said that the teenage protagonists turn in a suitably wooden, b-movie performance but luckily the film has an impressively high body count so we're not subjected to their performances for too long. The same can also be said for the supporting cast as none of the characters tend to stick in the mind unless dispatched in a particularly creative way. Speaking of which, the movie does employ some highly amusing weaponry for Santa to use such as exploding presents, smoke bomb baubles and what I can only describe as a radioactive candy cane?

Santa's Slay knows exactly what it's here to do...kill lots of people at Christmas time whilst riffing off a Jewish/Christian joke that is surprisingly never overstretched. You'll be hard pressed to find a great deal of Christmas-set, horror-comedies, except of course the Mighty Gremlins (1984), and for a movie as silly as Santa's slay that's not bad company to be in.

3 Stars ***

What did you think of Santa's Slay? Can you think of any other xmas-horror-comedies?

Friday the 13th part 2 (1981): Review

Friday the 13th part 2 is a 1981 slasher sequel. Directed by Steve Miner (House, Lake Placid) and starring Amy Steele (April Fool's Day), John Furey and Adrienne King. The film is the first in the long running series to feature Jason Voorhees as the antagonist.

Friday the 13th part 2 opens with a lengthy recap of the first film via Alice's nightmares for the benefit of audiences who had forgotten in the space of a year. Alice is quickly dispatched in a rare home visit from Jason as it becomes clear that 5 years have passed since the murderous rampage of Mrs Voorhees. Now Camp Crystal Lake has been condemned and a similar establishment has been setup down the road that will be manned this summer by manager Paul (Furey) and assistant Ginny (Steele) as well as a host of other foolish teenagers. The film continues to unfold in much the same way as the first film as "the body count continues" at the, increasingly creative, hands of Jason. When all is said and done the task falls to Ginny to outsmart the sack-headed woodsman and become the final girl.

Part 2 is very much the transitional film of the series. Maintaining the look and feel of Hitchcock-esque original whilst trying to forge it's own path through the overcrowded slasher market that it helped to create. In the process we see a horror icon in the making as the Jason character starts to take shape but is yet to be fully realised as the sack headed, dungaree wearing goon that was, visually, a take off of the 1976 film The Town that Dreaded Sundown. It makes it all the more frustrating that Jason is not revealed until the end of the film in an attempt to maintain a sense of mystery when it is plain, then and now, who the killer is.

As with many slasher films of the time the movie was neutered by the MPAA who were intent on removing any gore from the film amidst the video nasty moral panic. As a result the body count of the movie's tagline is largely imagined and not able to meet the standards established in the original film or the splatter of later films in the franchise. About the only slasher trope that is in abundance in the film is the half naked, horny teenager antics and cheesy teenage dialogue, which although entertaining, means much less without authentic psychopathic murders.

Part 2 sits in an awkward place between pioneering genre classic and iconic, if repetitive 80s sequels. Interesting to Friday the 13th completists only for its unique incarnation of Jason and memorably strong female lead character, this is perhaps the definition of a generic retread of an extremely profitable film.

** 2 Stars

What do you think of Part 2? Did you like Sack-head Jason?

Gravity (2013): Review

Gravity is a 2013 science fiction film. Directed by Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men) and starring Sandra Bullock (Speed, Crash) and George Clooney (From Dusk til Dawn). Almost all of the movie was filmed on a sound stage at Shepperton studios.

Gravity follows the outer space crisis of astronauts Ryan Stone (Bullock) and Matt Kowalski (Clooney) as a series of satellites explode causing masses of debris to orbit the earth faster than a speeding bullet. This calamity not only causes our heroes to become separated from their craft and float off freely into orbit but also destroys their craft leaving foreign space stations as the only hope of survival. With earth communications severed, oxygen supplies running low and dwindling propulsion can our astronauts survive the deadly atmosphere of space.

The plot of Gravity is simple, perhaps deliberately, to accommodate the film's main strengths...tension and visual mastery. I wasn't a huge fan of the overrated Children of Men (2006) but what was made clear in that film, and in this one, is that Cuaron is a visual auteur and a technically gifted filmmaker. From the disorienting spins and jolts to the tranquil vistas of the earth below Cuaron ensures that he presents one of the most realistic and immersive space films ever created.

To further compliment the visual delights of Gravity, an excellent score is provided by Steven Price (The World's End, Attack the Block) accompanying the tonal shifts with either suspenseful strings or morose piano. This is reminiscent of the scores from Moon (2009) and Sunshine (2007), two of the greatest space-set science fiction movies, and only adds to immersive atmosphere of the film. The only criticisms of the film I could muster are a somewhat ho hum script and a typically smug and irritating George Clooney attempting (and failing) to provide comic relief.

Gravity has been prone to hyperbole from many critics, is it the film of the year?...No. Is it the greatest space film ever made?...No. Gravity is certainly the best sci-fi film of this year and one of the most immersive and visceral films you will ever see. Cuaron's technical achievements with the film tower above his contemporaries and will likely raise the bar paving the way for a new ultra stylised, yet realistic, direction for science-fiction as a treasured genre.

**** 4 Stars

What did you think of Gravity? Is it worthy of the Hype?

They Made Me do It Again #6 : Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead is a 2013 horror remake of the 1981 film of the same name. Directed by  Fede Alvarez (Panic Attack) starring Jane Levy (Suburgatory), Shiloh Fernandez (Dead Girl) and Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield). The film was also produced by original Evil Dead director Sam Raimi and star Bruce Campbell.

Evil Dead follows the same basic plot as the original in that it follows a group of young adults as they head out to an ominous cabin in the woods for the weekend but end up finding the Necronomicon, read from it and summon the forces of evil. The slight twist to the remake is that Mia (Levy) is a a drug addict willingly participating in an intervention staged by her brother David (Fernandez), friend Olivia (Lucas) and other buddies as she attempts to go cold turkey once again. As the effects of drug withdrawal can be markedly similar to demonic possession it takes the group a while to realise that they've accidentally summoned the evil dead and as the events in the Necronomicon unfold before there eyes, they must sacrifice Mia if they have any hope of surviving the night.

The flaws of The Evil Dead are as obvious as they are frustrating, for the most part it's a shoddy script given to shoddy actors. I can't tell you the last time I squirmed so much at movie dialogue and it's delivery but it was probably in a sy-fy movie and ultimately gave me a laugh. This didn't make me laugh and I expected a lot more from such a big budget movie that had supposedly been in the works for years and been worked on by several screenwriters (including Cody Diablo of Juno/Jennifer's Body acclaim). By the same token I felt horribly misled by the film's marketing and statements from Alvarez himself stating that this would be a serious take on the premise. The action and tropes on display in the movie are as hokey and cliched as anything you'd find in an 80s horror film and nothing makes my eyes roll more than a possessed character spouting profanity complete with awful "demon-voice" effects.

That being said, there are a lot of things to like here as well. Alvarez's direction is excellent from the opening upside down vista to the immersive crash zooms and fantastic lighting  he really knows how to create atmosphere and has a bright future in filmmaking. Couple this with the excellent score and sound effects department and you get an intense, visceral cinema experience that is best experienced either in the cinema or with a good pair of headphones for maximum effect. Speaking of viscera, this is easily the goriest film of the year and could be the goriest of the decade. Taking into account that the stomach churning, ultraviolent action was achieved almost entirely with practical effects you really get the sense that these are traditional horror filmmakers with a passion and respect for the pioneering work of Sam Raimi.

Once you get over the clunky first act, overripe with cliches and wooden performances aplenty, Evil Dead really starts to become a fun horror movie with buckets of blood to please any true genre fan. The action and well crafted set pieces perhaps indicate a style over substance approach but every time I started to get on board with the movie one of the idiotic characters would open their mouths and say something, well...idiotic! If you can switch off your brain and adjust your expectations from the posters hyperbolic claims of near perfection and being "the most terrifying film you will ever experience" then you'll enjoy yourself but for me this has to go down as a missed opportunity for something truly great.

*** 3 Stars

What do you think of the film? How does it compare to the original?

Halloween II (1981): Review

Halloween II is a 1981 slasher sequel. Written, produced and scored by Halloween (1978) directer John Carpenter but actually directed by Rick Rosenthal (Halloween Resurrection) the film stars Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, Terror Train) and Donald Pleasance (Halloween, Phenomena) and picks up immediately following the events of the first film.

After a quick recap of the end of the first film, and after Michael disappears from the grass, Laurie (Curtis) is taken to a local hospital to recover whilst Dr Loomis (Pleasance) continues to hunt the streets of Haddenfield for The Shape. However, after Laurie's family tree is revealed to the doctor (and the audience) the reason for Myers' rampage becomes clear...he's aiming to dispatch his sister and finish off his family once and for all. All the while the victims from the first movie are cropping up left, right and centre which results in a Marshall being sent to apprehend Dr Loomis, but we all know he's the only one who can defeat Myers.

The tagline for this film was "more of the night he came home" and that's about as unimaginative as the plot itself. Essentially running as a feature length version of the end of the first film, there is no beginning or middle just a relentless third act that has real trouble keeping the viewer interested. The original Halloween is my favourite horror film of all time so I'm perhaps a little biased but it is an incredibly high watermark that the sequal could never hope to match. The fact that the Michael Myers character had been abandoned completely for the third instalment goes to show that the character was never going to get the same kind of mileage that Jason Voorhees would enjoy.

I personally feel that the film commits the cardinal sin of undermining it's predecessor. The fantastic thing about the end of the first film was that Myers was left at large, the closing shots reinforcing the ethereal nature of the character and suggesting he could be anywhere and everywhere at the same time. To have the sequel immediately answer that question ie. he just went round the corner, is clumsy storytelling and not what you'd expect from Carpenter. The iconic score is also tampered with here, replacing the subtle but atmospheric pianos for overblown 80s synth remixes is blasphemy and really hammers home that this is more the cheesy 80s film to the 70s subtlety of the original.

An unnecessary and repetitive 80s horror sequel (of which there were an abundance at the time) the film makes little use of Jamie Lee Curtis and has Donald Pleasance overdoing his proclamations of doom. Whereas the Friday the 13th franchise started off unrefined and later birthed a horror icon the Halloween franchise started off as strong as possible and subsequently left itself nowhere to go, only for hardcore Halloween fans.

** 2 Stars

What do you think of Halloween II? Is it too harsh to compare the film directly to the original?

Curse of Chucky (2013): Review

Curse of Chucky is a 2013 slasher film. Written and directed by Chucky creator Don Mancini and starring Fiona Dourif, Danielle Bisutti (Insidious: Chapter 2) and voice of Chucky, Brad Dourif. The film is the 6th, and possibly final instalment, in the Chucky franchise.

The movie centres around wheelchair-bound Nica (Fiona Dourif) who receives a seemingly brand new good guy doll in the post in the opening sequence, however, after her mother is mysteriously killed we begin to see the Resurrection of Chucky. Cue the rest of Nica's family, including sister Barb (Bisutti), who rush to the eerie mansion to help with the affairs aka the inheritance. Unfortunately everybody is too busy to notice Chucky slashing his way through the extended family and in a spectacularly twisty final act we learn the true reason behind Chucky's return.

So, quick history lesson. Child's Play was released in 1988 and introduced us to the killer doll possessed by serial killer Charles Lee Ray (via a voodoo spell) and his victim young Andy Barclay. There followed 2 sequels (90/91) and rounded off a solid but typical 80s slasher trilogy. The character was then brought back for Bride of Chucky (1998) and Seed of Chucky (2004) as the franchise exaggerated the more comical elements of the character and played very meta with the horror universe (particularly in Seed). And here we are, 25 years later, and Curse of Chucky wisely returns the franchise to its earnest slasher roots and to be honest there was really no other choice after Seed.

This doesn't mean that Chucky is without his signature one liners, the wit and charm that has made the character so enduring is fully intact. Another interest element that has been added in this instalment is a really traditional, Gothic horror twist on proceedings in both plot and setting. The mansion itself is an obvious nod to the days of Universal or Hammer Horror productions but Mancini also draws on that classic trope of having a group of people gathered in a creepy mansion and allowing the events to unravel in real time. This brings to mind Horror classics like House on Haunted Hill (1959) and The Haunting (1963) and freshens up the format nicely.

It's very telling that although the Chucky character has been around for 25 years this is only the 6th instalment. Whereas fellow 80s horror icons Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger have been overexposed by innumerable sequels, remakes and reboots the Chucky franchise has remained restrained and protected from exhaustion, presumably under Mancini's watch. This shines through in what is a really enjoyable instalment in the franchise and i have great respect for the mind boggling retcon job in the final act necessary to write themselves out of the corner they were left in after Seed. Highly recommended to Chucky fans old and new!

4 Stars ****

What did you think of Curse? Are you a fan of the Franchise?